Getting down to your underwear in public
Yay or nay?
The minute I land in a new city, I’m scanning for homes I could live in. Picturing what I would look like on a seaside balcony. Cliffy boardwalks where I would take sunset runs, local wine bars casually overlooking the harbour, corner tables I could nurse a hardcover at.
Lots of things make me want to move to the city i’m holidaying in. In fact, everything about a new city makes me want to move there— the street style, mussels for breakfast, the salted fish served on blue porcelain. The ocean breeze, the trams, the custard tarts, the fairytale castles. That sudden rush of the unfamiliar after a twisty red eye, so far removed from the wheel of my daily life — instantly seductive.
Right on top on that list, is the ease with which people get down to their underwear in public. It’s rare to see someone strip done to their unmentionables in Melbourne like it’s nothing special. For one, its cold a lot so everyone is in their puffers, plus rugged beaches are not as brazenly strewn about.
In Sydney though it’s everyday-casual, stripping down to a matching (or un-matching) set, dipping into one of the many dramatic oceanfronts, then redressing before you get on with the business of school pick ups or visiting your dentist.
Different things are casually commonplace in the many cities i’ve visited in over time — in Pune, where I grew up, it is common to wake up to a spicy vada pav for brekky, a soft bun stuffed with a deep fried potato patty, oiled, spiced and a battered, a kick up you bum to bring in a new day. In Melbourne, where I live now, it’s lining up at bakeries on a Sunday morning, Peter Pan style. In St. Petersburg, it is towering Disney-like castles sticking out in the cityscape. In Mangalore, it is a visit to the neighbourhood temple to feed a cow before you get to work.
It’s true for people too. My college friend Joe can hash into the nitty-gritties of his life with nonchalance — granular things about his love or family life that I would be private about. Maya from my book club can wear heels all night and a T-shirt in winter. Shel can deftly explain complex board game rules to a group of new people at a party . My colleague K always ALWAYS has a packed lunch. AK stays calm under pressure, and doesn’t appear to carry forward the aftershocks of a rough day.
It’s easy to fawn over the qualities in my friends that I don’t see in myself, or plot my move to a different city, romantic and fresh and full of hidden oysters to uncover.
When we were still on the tarmac on our return from Sydney, and I was about to pull up real estate listings to move our family to, something unexpected happened — my daughter’s hair immediately relaxed. The humidity in Sydney had make it take a life of its own, standing up, talking back and doubling in size, disproportionate for her tiny body, but precisely in proportion for the sass she was throwing around in a new city, her routines and rests and rhythms a bit off centre.
It didn’t stop there. We softened and relaxed when we heard the familiar RJ, and the roads were wide and welcoming and we knew the exits without the GPS. We arrived home and transferred a small sleeping child into the fresh sheets of her room, and stepped out into a quiet home with its soft throws and familiar sofas and fleece slippers.
The next day I went to the gym at sunrise, pottered about with a tote bag afterwards, lovingly choosing a rainbow of fruits and vegetables to put inside the bodies of my family. I picked from a wide spice box at lunch time to make a hot yellow dal, lacing it with ghee and cumin. In the afternoon I chatted with neighbours, and walked to get a fresh loaf of bread.
Yes, there is merit in change and the red hot space out of our comfort zones. May we go there often. But sometimes it is that very change that renews our perspective on what we already have, bringing it into a shimmering soft focus. Bringing to view what we can easily miss from sitting in the middle of it for far too long.
And maybe, just maybe, it gives us the push to shimmy down to our underwear when the inspiration strikes every now and again.
That’s it for me folks. Have a beautiful week, wherever you are.
xx
Som
p.s