A reliable guide to resting more
and a sneak peak into my nap schedule and yoga practise
I was raised by 2 people who really prioritised their naps. Every afternoon, they drew the bedroom curtains shut, set the alarm and napped for 1 hour straight. I was 4 or 5, and used this time to play, create little diaries to write in and just freestyle my way through the afternoons — it was a wonderful time, a blank space woven in the everyday, to do whatever I wanted without the adults having a say.
Whatever I did though, I was not allowed to wake my parents up.
These early years of my childhood were spent in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. A rich dessert country where women weren’t allowed to drive (that has changed since), drinking was illegal and sister wives were as common as the golden sand. When I tell people I lived here for 9 years of my life, the reactions I get are a mixed bag.
But there was one surprising benefit of living in Saudi Arabia. The work day was casually split in two halves, with a natural parting in the middle for people to eat lunch, see their families and have a siesta. Everyday, my father would come home from work at 1 pm, eat lunch and nap like it was in his calendar. When the alarm rang, he would have his chai, change back into his work clothes and leave for work.
Over the years, I learnt that my parents’ naps were sacrosanct — it was a part of our family culture. There was a chasm in the middle of everyday that was reserved specifically for sliding into and resting your minds and your bodies.
Sort of like when the entire world ensures that kids have access to play — right from airBnBs to cafes to doctor’s offices. Everybody bands together to create this thing that everyone agrees is non-negotiable and must be protected.
I have a distinct memory of when I was 10, playing with cousins in the sliver of yard space to the side of my home, directly underneath my parent’s bedroom. We were playing a game of house or snakes and ladders, the exact thing I cant be certain of— it wasn’t important. The most important thing was it was during nap time. In aa few minutes, my dad came downstairs, sleep still in his hair and eyes, and gave us all a good dressing down. I still whisper during that nap window as a grown up.
Today, as a grown woman, a Highly Sensitive Person and the mother of a bright, always-skipping and soft-hearted 5 year old , I nap for 20 minutes every weekday (more on weekends), and consider it one of my top survival tools for life — my very own little rebellion against grind culture.
For every time they say ‘hustle’, I will plant one nap on my sofa in the name of nervous system regulation, slowing down and being kinder to myself.
My daughter doesn’t really nap anymore, but has a system in place for rest that we call Quiet Time. She is free to rest her body and her voice, to draw and paint, to play make believe or, as we have been seeing off late, twist her hair up into little braids in a makeshift hairdressing chair. She can do whatever she wants in her safe, soothingly lit room— whatever she does though, she cannot wake her parents up. Her own little freestyle afternoon, and our very own family culture coming full circle.
Recommendations, observations and discoveries from the week
What are you doing tonight ? I spend a great deal of time eaves dropping on other people’s accents. Recently, the line for Bubble Tea did not feel as long because there was a couple behind me discussing mundane flatmate dramas in Nigerian accents, making the entire thing sound like exotic spoken word poetry. British accents are another pet favourite . Watching British TV, movies and stand-up comics are a natural off-cut — Trying, Love Sick, Sex Education. In that same vein, I will be watching Ry Lane on Disney Plus tonight, which from the trailer promises to be funny, insightful and full of that great fashion sense everyone from London seems to effortlessly have.
And isn’t it always charming how the brits call undies knickers?
What podcasts do you have on rotation? I’ve been listening to Hurry Slowly by Jocelyn K Glei for years now, and if the podcast were a book it would be dog-eared, bookmarked and coloured all over by highlighters. This week’s episode Am I Allowed to Say This talks about self expressions and the subtle ways in which we edit or deny ourselves the permission to express ourselves in a certain way because it isn’t in line with what we have been saying about ourselves so far. Some bits mined from the episode if you’re interested:
“Know that the dominant culture is never going to open the door for you, it’s never going to invite you to say these things. You must nominate yourself, you must choose yourself.”
“Every word, every thought, every tagline, every baby step you take towards showing more of yourself matters.”
“So take some time to tune into what you’re not showing, what you’re not saying, what you’re not allowing yourself to express and consider starting to open that door — we need your light.”
“Each time you allow yourself to say or write something new, you’re activating new energies in yourself, and that energy build in you, and then it ripples out to others, activating new possibilities in them.” - Jocelyn K. Glei
Will you be moving your body this weekend? I always turn to yoga when I want something gentle but grounding, challenging but slow. I will be rolling out a mat on the grass to cycle through the the 7 suryanamaskars at my own pace, which to me is a bit like meditating. Here is a course by one of my teachers and dear friends Malcum Marolia— great to learn (if you’re new) or brush up (if you’re seasoned) on one of the foundation blocks of building a yoga practise.
That’s all from me this week, folks. But before I go, let me leave you with a pie chart depicting the cogs in my weekday napping habit. Perhaps it gives a bit of inspiration to bring nap culture into your everyday.
Have a beautiful weekend, wherever you are.
x
Som